Easy Breezy Trust

A friend asked me “How did you meet your fiancé?”. I told her we met at Uni. He was my senior. We were from a different faculty but same hostel college. She asked me again, “Do you trust him?”. It took me a few minutes to answer her this time. But I am sure my answer was very sincere. I told her, “I trust him. Besides it takes me 3 years to solely trust him. To build trust is not easy. I used to be a jealous girlfriend. He has the look and at my end, I do not think that I am pretty. I always had this doubt whenever he received sms or phone calls. Then I started doing funny things like checking his messages, his contacts, inbound outbound calls, and my fiancé (that time was my boyfriend) just let me checked whatever I wanted. Like when I asked him one day “Aren’t you feel scared that I may find something uneasy?” He answered, “I do nothing wrong. Why must I worry?” Only during our third year being a couple, the habit of checking hand phone slowly faded and that was when I know that I trusted him and I wanted to be with him.

Imagining one good self takes 3 years to build trust (or for some maybe more than that), and when the boyfriend or girlfriend simply betrays what has been built, some cheat, some flirt, some lie, I can understand the pain it costs. I can absolutely comprehend why he or she cannot accept the same person anymore. Or even if he or she forgives you, the feeling will never be the same again. Many couples build trust in a few months, they got married and live happily now. So building trust differs on individual. My mom she once advised me, “Man is always man until the world ends. Is OK to reserve 1% hesitation in one relationship. At least you know the 1% belongs to you to secure your feeling”. My fiancé is aware on this but as he said ‘that will never change the fact that I still 100% trust you, except when you told me that you put on your corset when I knew you did not, or when you said you were not hungry but I could clearly hear your stomach singing’. Yeah, I do not know how to let you know just how my fiancé genuinely trust me. I can date my girlfriends anytime I want, I can meet my friend boy, I can go wherever I want without his present and many more that if I list down will be a long page.

So it is fine if you still in the process to trust your partner. Take your time. Since your partner may possibly be your spouse one day, you need to ensure that the trust is there. If your sister is going to have her first love, never feel hesitate to tell her (any other advice or good words you can think of to give) ‘Please be extra careful in knowing this guy. Do not put the trust fast. No need to hurry with the flow. You will not lose a thing by driving slow in building trust and love. If he loves you, he surely can wait’. When I tell this does not mean that I hate her or envy her happiness or do not want her to be with the guy (unless if the guy is a jerk). You warn someone dear to you in advance because you love them. Bye all, XoXo.

*Ah Ai, a fiancé who cannot trust herself when she is in movie stores*